mental health Sundays #14 - complex PTSD
MENTAL HEALTH SUNDAYS š
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āI live with complex trauma: C-PTSD, Suicidal thoughts, Manic depression, and Chronic illness. My trauma stems from childhood Incidents of sexual assault back from 5 years old on as well as Antisemitism I have faced from family and āfriendsā and severe bullying that led to attempted suicide and hospitalization at 12.
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I live in an extremely conservative area and my we would receive Nazi propaganda and throughout my young years we had an active Nazi on local tv in town. I was constantly bullied for being āotherā and was afraid to come out as gay because I was already bad for ābeing a Jewā.
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I have been sexually assaulted 6 times by strangers and partners and live with hypersensitivity to noises, people, and random places. Many donāt understand my actions that stem from this deep seeded trauma like: I must know my exits at all times and must sit at the end of rows to be able āto escapeā. I hyper focus on scenarios and have massive panic attacks and night terrors (has when I was young), I wonāt walk alone at night, I am initially fearful of almost all men, but have also worked in industries that people would blame me for this happening to me (i.e. you were asking for it).
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I always say sorry- ALWAYS. Even for breathing wrong. Itās honestly like Iām a prisoner to my past and to my mind. It is hell, and with chronic illness where I canāt digest food right , have multiple surgeries in 2 years and can get sick easily- this pandemic and isolation has made me feel like Iām non deserved of understanding because itās ānot that badā.
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People keep telling me I need to āget over itā but - itās not that easy. None of it. And it hampers every relationship I have.ā - @miss.bee.314
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āI live with complex trauma: C-PTSD, Suicidal thoughts, Manic depression, and Chronic illness. My trauma stems from childhood Incidents of sexual assault back from 5 years old on as well as Antisemitism I have faced from family and āfriendsā and severe bullying that led to attempted suicide and hospitalization at 12.
ā£
I live in an extremely conservative area and my we would receive Nazi propaganda and throughout my young years we had an active Nazi on local tv in town. I was constantly bullied for being āotherā and was afraid to come out as gay because I was already bad for ābeing a Jewā.
ā£
I have been sexually assaulted 6 times by strangers and partners and live with hypersensitivity to noises, people, and random places. Many donāt understand my actions that stem from this deep seeded trauma like: I must know my exits at all times and must sit at the end of rows to be able āto escapeā. I hyper focus on scenarios and have massive panic attacks and night terrors (has when I was young), I wonāt walk alone at night, I am initially fearful of almost all men, but have also worked in industries that people would blame me for this happening to me (i.e. you were asking for it).
ā£
I always say sorry- ALWAYS. Even for breathing wrong. Itās honestly like Iām a prisoner to my past and to my mind. It is hell, and with chronic illness where I canāt digest food right , have multiple surgeries in 2 years and can get sick easily- this pandemic and isolation has made me feel like Iām non deserved of understanding because itās ānot that badā.
ā£
People keep telling me I need to āget over itā but - itās not that easy. None of it. And it hampers every relationship I have.ā - @miss.bee.314